UNTITLED

In all my clumsiness, I collided with the one person I had tried so hard to avoid. My books flew all around, and the papers he was carrying scattered all about the floor. I felt my cheeks heat up.
Great… Why didn’t I collide with the president of the United States instead? It would have been better. I cursed at myself for being clumsy as I opened my eyes and started to bend to help him collect his stuff.

To my surprise, he pushed my books gently into my hands, looking into my hazel eyes with his grey eyes. I have completely no idea how. God. God, no… Yea, here it comes… The stupid blushing. Oh no…

“Sorry.” he muttered, and released my books into my hands. He broke the eye contact almost instantly after that, and I felt a jolt of disappointment. He straightened up the same time I did, and I glanced at his handsome face one last time before he turned to walk away.

Right then I remembered I was the one who collided with him and so it makes it my fault and so I should apologize to him. But I stupidly didn’t, and I watched helplessly as he walked away.
My big chance to appear gentle, sophisticated and polite and I blew it.

That’s the type of girl he likes, the ones who smile sweetly even if you pour orange juice down her dress, the type of girls who bake brownies without a single glitch. And most importantly… the girls who can pour green tea without spilling it on the table. Well… so his fan club says. Yea, he has a fan club.

The type of girls that are the complete opposite of me.

I would die of embarrassment if you pour orange juice down my dress, and the brownies I bake always turn into charcoal, and even more sadly, I pour more green tea on the table than I pour it into my parent’s cups.

Urgh… Talk about feeling like a complete failure. But mom’s always a sweetie. She always say brightly, “It’s ok, Kisa. I used to do that too. You’ll learn.” And dad always nods. But I never believe her of course. She does everything so perfectly! How could I believe her?

Dinner’s always ready when dad returns from work, and lunch’s always ready when I return from school. The clothes are always clean, and they smell wonderful. I wonder if I get the clumsiness is from dad. Not to mention everything else. But he’s not that bad either. He keeps the house running, and all.

God… I wonder if I’m the only one in the family that can’t do anything right.

I felt someone turn me abruptly, and I cried out in surprise. Maki laughed, smiling broadly. “What were you thinking about, Kisa?” she continued laughing, and I could only smile. Maki was one of those perfect girls. And I envied her so much.


by
Esaiko/kuroneko